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Community Corner

My Hour Of Mercy.

When I look back at all the miracles in the last six years of my life I can honestly say they were not just a series of coincidences. Neither are they miracles created by an imagination gone wild. I pray this miraculous story will bring you hope.

A while back I met a man on Facebook that had a conversion very similar to mine. He was an ex-porn star who turned his life around by the grace of God. While I was never a porn star, our stories are very much alike.

As I browsed through his blog I came across a video tribute to countless gay ex-porn stars who died primarily of Aids; others from suicide. As the faces appeared upon the screen I was moved by their youthful faces. Some were ruggedly handsome while others appeared angelic looking. The song "Gone Too Soon" rang within my mind and this video provoked an extreme sadness within my soul. I wondered how many of these men in their final hours got to make peace with God and if any of them actually asked for God's forgiveness. I asked God to allow me to suffer and do penance for their souls and for the strength to do all this and more.

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Two days later I was in a hospital bed battling Pneumonia and fighting for my life. This was no coincidence. Although I had the will to suffer, I had no idea it would be this dramatic. I was tested and felt as if I wrote a check that I can't cover. Hours ticked by and I gazed at the IV drip, counting the drops, realizing I was getting sicker by the hour.  

At 3 o'clock, at the hour of Mercy, I began praying the Rosary. My fingers glued on one bead because I was too weak to move to the next one. In that hour of Mercy, the doctor came in and said, "We don't see any Pneumonia in your X-ray, we think it might be your heart.." Thirty minutes later the nurse came in and told me that the doctor was going to keep me another night for further tests. I felt that God was telling me to get up out of that bed and go home to suffer. I told the nurse to give me the necessary papers to be released. She said, "If you leave you will not be able to use a wheelchair." I simply replied, "I'm going home."

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I staggered down the long hallway to the elevator with a friend who came to fetch me. No one noticed my gasping for air. As I pressed the elevator button to go down, a picture of Jesus bearing His cross and Calvary floated into my mind. I wondered if there was a Simon nearby. I asked Jesus to stay with me. Doubt crept in and I hoped that I wasn't making a mistake by going home. When the elevator doors opened to the ground floor, before me was another long hallway, my mind screamed, "Oh sweet Jesus help me!" Outside was a bench on which I quickly sat, gasping for air, waiting for the car to bring me home.

That night, I went to bed surrounded by all my statues that remind me of the faith held by those who have gone before us and suffered, taking upon themselves the sins and sufferings of others. A sense of peace came over me and I slept peacefully. The next morning I woke up confused not knowing if God brought me home to die or whether He brought me home to recover. Wondering how I could have been admitted into a hospital for Pneumonia and then being told I don't have Pneumonia.

Two days later I went back to the Urgent Care and ask the doctor to do a new X-ray so I would know the truth. The X-ray revealed I have Pneumonia.

Today as I write , I am on the mend knowing this was my second near death experience. I have no real answers other than this is yet more proof of God's Divine Mercy. I believed that God used me as an example of His Divine Mercy.

I have complained to God many times that many people have doubts about my conversion story. Maybe God is using me to shake the lives of others. I just don't know. I can only tell you that these were not just a series of coincidences.

Why so many have died from Aids and I'm still here can only be attributed to God's Divine Mercy. I only know that when we pick up our cross and follow Him the possibilities are beyond calculation.

I'm not out of the woods just yet, but my fate is in the hands of God.

Br. Christopher Sale B.P.P. 

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