Patch Blog: The Eddie Haskell Question

The Eddie Haskell Question

This blog is about my coolest editor by far since “Bulldawg Stephens.”

And since I escaped dental school with most of my own skin a few years back, I’ve never hesitated sucking up…out of necessity and/or while making a difference for others.

The Trojan D-school was located one block north of 35th and McClintock so during the Holidays Miracle on 34th Street means way more to me than even a real Santa showing up at the mall.

So I’m not saying I wasn’t a brilliant student, I’m just sayin’ I wasn’t too good at making faculty friends (and geez, Eddie Haskell was my boyhood idol.)

I know for sure one of my chief instructors and a major nemesis, Doc Rick “wrath of” Kahn, would have been impervious to any politicking by me (think he had it in for future elite athlete/scribe/DDSs.) And I also know that if he hadn’t turned out being my designated tormentor-in-my-own-mind he coulda comfortably slipped into running the BCS or chairing an NCAA Infractions committee. In my dreams (nightmares), I can sometimes see the Kahnster hunting moose with automatic weapons from a helicopter (OMG! He was almost only a heartbeat away. Talk about a nightmare.)

Hope I don’t sound too bitter.

Anyway, in the years following my Great Escape, I did some reflecting; searching deeply for my own inner Eddie Haskell. First thing I discovered was even women who hated me might go out once if I offered theater seats and a compliment (usually about their smile or arms.)

I learned that if you looked and listened for stuff that you liked about folks, honesty-out-loud was a great policy. And even though finding something good to say about “Wrath of” Kahn would have been difficult, it wouldn’t have been impossible; just like Bart Simpson, I bet he wasn’t half-bad when he was asleep.

So every day I refer to specialists who extract wisdom teeth and perform tricky root canals and I know they are the best. And I let every single mutual patient know that I’ve sucked-up to these DDS special-forces guys and gals big-time. And see what I’m doing? Yeah, I’m making a difference for others.

And by the way, my own orthodontist, BFF/DDS TL Fong should be a freakin Nobel Laureate for unraveling and beautifying my Kahn-described former “train wreck” smile.

But enough already about teeth.

I’ve been writing for local rags around here for something like 15 years and all I can say is I shoulda sucked-up to my editors more. In all but a couple of instances, my editors have been professional, smart, and fun (and I guess there are a few “wrath of” Kahns lurking in every professional endeavor.) The cool editors had tough jobs and made ‘em look easy; they didn’t take themselves so seriously and they consistently put out fine work. All my fav “Eds” listened and asked questions (one of ‘em even printed the nickname I’d created for him.) Facing similar deadline challenges, I would’ve handed myself a Pulitzer and asked questions later.

So I’ve met Arcadia Patch Editor Natalie only twice and even before I figured out how to send in my application/bio she said yes to the blog. I instantly knew Natalie wasn’t buds with my previous two editors and why would she be? One guy was a photographer and the other one was a lawyer. Natalie is a real editor.

And it’s not just because Natalie’s a Trojan. Although given her great ability, energy, humor, and style, what else could she be? A bruin? I don’t think so? Did I mention she has great teeth?

Had the chance to meet up again with Editor Natalie last week at the one-year Arcadia Patch anniversary party. I saw some familiar Arcadia Chamber faces and met some of the Patch folks and a bunch of people who all looked about ten years younger than what they told the DMV, Natalie included. I mostly hung out with the editor’s grandmother and uncles and I’ll be standing in line when their youthful DNA goes public.

Our daily Patch online newspaper is the slickest, coolest looking, most up-to-date community publication I’ve ever seen. And now having met some of the people behind the scenes, the quality of the product is easy to understand.

And Editor Natalie is so down-to-earth, hard working, and talented, I hope she knows I’m not just sucking up.

Happy one-year anniversary! Happy 2012 everyone!

Fight on!