Patch Blog: The Hazards of Tongue Piercings

So first off, just let me say we practice compassionate dental care around here. And it’s not like I have a choice.

I always ask to frame our patients as family and don’t let the Von Bulow tag fool you; 95% of my relatives are Sicilian. And if you’ve seen The Sopranos or The Godfather parts I, II, or III, you already know there’s some serious revenge and very long memories found in most Sicilian DNA.

The above being said, if Uncle Louie comes in all tatted-up or Cousin Rosalie shows me the new tongue piercing, I don’t wanna hear anything about dental phobia. You won’t see the eye-roll … but it’ll be there.

My co-workers keep me up to date on stuff like epidermal art even though they really don’t accessorize that much. Only recently, I learned piercing might be on its way out but tattoos are getting more popular than Kool-aid in Utah or woodchucks in Oregon.

But I’m a dentist, so tongue spearing kinda gets me going even if full body indelible needlepoint war paint is more popular. However, I can see clearly now the rain has gone … and I can also see irony.

So someone has a stake driven through their tongue over at the mall but receiving local anesthetic is traumatic? And someone suited up in wife-beaters can paint your neck with a needle but you’re afraid of the hygienist?

I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.

I know I’m old-school, but I prefer just verbalizing or dropping someone a note or even buying some flowers rather than expressing myself with a needlepoint mural down my arm.

And piercing? Are you serious? Maybe if the Pechangans finally honor my grandmother by letting me in the tribe, I’d consider a ring through my nose for $30K/month. Anything less is non-negotiable (okay, maybe a spare golf tee in my eyebrow.)

Thing is, I spent some time considering all the benefits of driving sharp objects through your skin and tongue on purpose just for style points and I even have a  list of why you really should do it, tongue first of course.

Here we go (drum roll):

• Driving a stake through my tongue feels … AWESOME DUDE!!!
• Waaay too many taste buds.
• Thought I saw it in The King’s Speech.
• Love the taste of my enamel in the morning; tastes like … victory. Steel deficiency.
• Can’t tattoo it; why not spear it?
• Do I get handicapped parking?
• Oral fixation with wrecking balls.
• My dentist doesn’t love me.

And finally, here's reason #1 (another drum roll): I’m a bonehead!

Like I said, I’m totally old school. And it wasn’t that long ago when I did oral cancer exams and asked patients to roll out their tongue, there weren’t any shiny knobs attached for me to latch onto. And back in the day, I could just sit back and listen to patients without being distracted by neck art.

Oral piercing has always had some health risks. Chipped teeth and swollen tongues are typical side effects. Piercing can also cause gum recession that can open the door to tooth decay, periodontal disease and tooth loss.  And research shows periodontal disease is also connected to systemic concerns like heart disease, diabetes, and low weight premature births. 

Another finding is piercing can stir up existing medical conditions. Most people don’t realize oral piercing carries the risk of infection. Our mouths contain millions of bacteria types that can be given free access to our bloodstream. This is a concern for everyone, and especially for those with congenital heart defects or a history of rheumatic heart disease.

An issue of Emerging Infectious Diseases reports a case of a 25-year-old man with congenital aortic stenosis (Narrower than usual aortic heart valve) barely surviving a life-threatening infection following his tongue piercing. The patient always premedicated with antibiotics for his dental care but as a “piercee” didn’t bother following any prophylactic medical guidelines.

And I gotta wonder if the piercing engineer in question was board-certified for tongue surgery outside of Westfield.