Patch Blog: Waiting for Doc Godot

So I guess I’m not as patient as I used to be. And I really hate it when patients have to wait.

Don’t know about you guys, but lately it seems I spend lots of time just waiting. Do the words “express lane” mean anything to you? Nope, me neither.

And without even counting the hours I spend marooned out on Rosemead Blvd, that road “under repair” to nowhere, I’m still way too versed on that near mobile purgatory we call talk-radio.

At least I only do “sports talk.” If I want crazy or frustrating, I just attend city council meetings. And what about Pac-12 football officiating? If you wanna be seriously frustrated, just watch ‘em whistle while they work?

If you leave out drivers who never use their turn indicators, whoever’s repairing Rosemead, and former VP Cheney’s shooting instructor, is there a lower form of incompetent, slow-thinking life than Pac-12 football zebras?

But I digress. Sorry, guess I’m just not quite over my Trojans losing to the Stanford Cardinal, Tree, or whatever.

Like I was saying, lucky for me (and my patients) I stay outa politics, focusing only on my practice, the economy I can control. But I ask you, how often can mere mortals listen to millionaire athletes mangle the English language…while killin’ time on the slow road to nowhere?

Shucks, at heart I’m a traditionalist. I’m not one of those nervous Chihuahua types going, “Whaddawe gonna do now? Whaddawe gonna do now?” And I’m not afraid of change but I don’t go messing around with stuff just because I’m bored. Seriously, I don’t even caffeinate.

I live in the now; just don’t want to be there (in my car or in line or on “hold”) forever.

Since I’m not comfortable spending my hover time leveling famiglia Sicilian curses at clueless knuckleheads crawling along The 210 in front of me, I’ve learned to take time to reflect. But unlike the knuckleheads in front of me, I can reflect and talk to myself and still generate a turn signal. Who says guys can’t multi-task?

And finally, I’ve taken steps to climb out of the primordial talk-radio ooze and…listen to books (just in time because I avoid taking medication like the Plague). Not so easy for a visual traditionalist who’d rather dropkick a Kendall than read one.

Yeah, and I know; what about music? Okay, I have this dream where I’m stuck in traffic and every station is playin’ Michael Bolton and I can’t turn the radio off or unlock the doors and the volume keeps getting louder and louder and… Sorry, I need a moment. Wheew.

I also listen to CDs my practice advisor turns out more prolifically than law schools breed litigators. And it’s cool. Especially when you consider it runs five grand a day to be advised in person…plus five hours coming and going to Atlanta and five hours coming and going to LAX (almost.)

So last Friday, I embraced the 90-minute trip to The Valley for my 6-hour 18-hole adventure behind four guys who coulda been The View being interviewed by Oprah while failing a 6,500 yard sobriety test on their way to the green.

On the long winding back to the real Valley, I listened to author Fred Joyal, who is also the founder of 1-800 DENTIST and a major Honcho in the world of dental marketing.

Joyal shared he advises dentist clients to visualize the traditional medical practice…and then create the exact opposite. And that’s when I realized I’m not the traditionalist I thought I was. Sometimes opposite is good.

I realized Rosemead Blvd, the 405, city golf courses, quicksand, and my Dad’s ophthalmologist all had something in common; they all took up a major chunk of my time (Americans spend an average 101 minutes/day in their car…and that includes Nebraska.)

So friends, countrymen (and countrywomen), and dental patients, I feel your pain; really. Don’t wanna make you mad; don’t wanna make you wait. Waiting at Disneyland is a drag; waiting for the dentist is more like spending New Year’s Eve with an underwriter in the rain, on Colorado, waiting 12 hours for the parade to start.

To paraphrase the Rolling Stones, “…ti-i-i-ime is on (your) side.” Promise I’m gonna keep it that way.