Top Ten Santa Wish List

Top Ten Santa Wish List

Okay, this is yet another version of the same Christmas column I’ve written for probably the last 10 years or so. And what’s more traditional than the Holidays and the USC football Trojans using up three coaches and spotting opponents twenty players and STILL winning 10 games?

So it really doesn’t seem that long ago Christmas held so much wonder I dang near couldn’t handle it. And I guess as time goes on the wonder is still there…if you’re looking for it.

Don’t know about you guys but back in The Day, beginning a few weeks before December 25, I used to get so excited I couldn’t sleep and when I finally did I couldn’t wait to wake up (sadly, these days I’m using melatonin, Valeria passion flower compound, and self-hypnosis to count sheep…and I still wake up at 5AM every morning no matter what.)

But tomorrow, my famous Aunt Clara will be celebrating Christmas #101 and a few weeks ago I thought she was gonna have to settle for a century.

It’s just that when you’ve been around since before Archduke Franz Ferdinand got himself capped and started WWI, your immune system can function in a serious state of “It ain’t what it used to be.”

Couple of weeks ago, I looked in on Aunt C. bearing enchiladas and found my aunt shivering and talking sort of like Speaker Boehner after about five dirty Belvedere martinis. I recorded a temp of 103 degrees Fahrenheit and promptly called the paramedics. And while the saviors in uniform can play dental assistants Dani and Kolleen like a Mozart concerto, Aunt C wasn’t so easily persuaded to come along for the ride.

Turned out my aunt had an infection that got into her blood stream and wouldn’t respond to care…for about four days (I repeat, we’re talkin’ centenarian.)

And just when the prospect of a good outcome looked less likely than the Tea Party feeding the poor, Aunt C and her antibiotics found some common ground. I couldn’t believe it; couldn’t believe the toughness. But I guess you don’t go ten decades by accident.

Tomorrow we’ll be hangin’ out together. We’ll have some turkey catered by Marie Calendar; we’ll be watching some hoops, sampling a sip or two of red vino, and reliving some family history going back more than a century and thousands of miles away in Piana deglis Albinesi in Sicily.

And like I said, sometimes you don’t even have to look for the wonder.

 Making porcelain crowns fit perfectly is pretty damn cool. Treating periodontal disease can change lives. Building beautiful smiles takes an artist. But providing care, taking a human interest, and making a personal difference is the kind of stuff that comes from family. Don’t know about you…but I’m addicted.

And…on a less serious note but without further delay I give you my annual Top Ten Santa Wish List, almost totally devoid of sarcastic, un-Christmas-like shots at local government, the Tea Party, and the Sons of Anarchy aka the NCAA.

#10: Dental drills become quieter than a roll call of ucla bruin BCS victories.

#9: Dental insurance programs suddenly realize it’s not 1970 anymore and abandon annual maximum benefits established BEFORE Disco (I was using this one when I was still wearing double knit plaid bell-bottoms.)

#8: Suddenly, without warning, the Tea Party is DECAFFEINATED.

#7: Temple City wakes up one bright sunny SoCal morning to discover…RETAIL!!!

#6: Random acts of violence become random acts of kindness (my fav.)

#5: Research shows chorizo burritos with everything are the essence of health, vitality, and longevity (and the burritos have a synergistic link with Double-Doubles, animal style.)

#4: Adult males in my spin class quit wearin’ those silly lookin’ multi-colored Lycra outfits unless they’re riding the stationary bikes right out of the building (preferably through the window.)

#3: When I say “Almost done” for maybe the 8th time and a patient threatens retaliation, Singing Dental Assistant Kolleen doesn’t volunteer to “look the other way.”

#2: All dental materials taste just like chocolate chip gelato.

And finally…#1: Everyone within six degrees of separation and beyond has a healthy Holiday, feels like a kid again, and successfully looks and listens for peace, prosperity, and fulfillment in 2014.

Merry Christmas!